Storms

Being my first real blog I thought that would clarify why I am doing this. I want this to be a place where we can come and share honestly with each other. I don't want this to be like facebook where we just write everyday little thoughts without being real with each other. Facebook is great for just keeping track of friends, but I want this for those who may need real authetic sharing of information.  My prayer would be that we can respect each others feelings and thoughts with an open mind and non judgemental attitude.  Lets use this to support each other and be real. If you disagree with my post great. Lets dialouge with grace. If you can relate then share also and we can pray for each other.  I want this for all ages.


 My first thought is taken from my devotion this morning.

"Jesus Christ is no security AGAINST storms, but He is perfect security in storms. He has never promised you an easy passage, only safe landing."
  Taken from devotional " Streams in the desert."



We have had our fair share of winter storms this season here in Ontario. It feels like each one I ended up working in Belleville at night which means driving on side roads where you can't see in front of you. Can be a little scary and nerve wracking. One such night I almost stopped at my sisters even though I was nearly home. But I didn't because I so wanted the safety and warmth of my own home. I had a destination to reach and wasn't going to allow the storm to stop me. I knew the road well and just had to take it easy and be extra careful.

As I think about this I think this is like life. We have seasons of stormy like weather. Where the road seems hidden and we are scared. For me that is what the last few months have felt like.  There have been moments of some clarity but then like the storms some wind(or thought or circumstance in life, doubt) picks up and it once again I can't see in front of me. I can choose in these storms to quit believing in my God who loves me and has a place for me in heaven or I can choose to keep believing, having faith. This may mean slowing down in life so speak, taking more time with God so I have the strength to keep on the journey even though I cannot see in front of me. It may also mean that I can't be as busy as I would like. That some changes are needed in my life so that I can continue walking with Him.  Thankfully I do know that Jesus is with me as my guide and he knows the way when I can't see. I am still battling the doubts as to why the storm in the first place. I have no answer for that other than we live in a fallen world and we are given free choice so of course there will be storms. Whether it is sickness, abuse, injustice or whatever the storm may be it is still hard and can make us wonder about our faith. For me to not believe doesn't seem to be a choice for me. Those days become too dark. I need prayer and His word.Believe me I have tried in these past few months to say I don't need God but it doesn't work. Just when I think it could be true someone comes to me and reminds me how loved I am by them and by God, or finances work out just when needed. When I look around at how my God provided a haven, a rest for our weary hearts I can't say that it is coincidence or just because I have had wonderful help from family ( although that is such a blessing and so grateful!). I have to believe that our Haven here in Hillier is from God. That He loves me that much that He knew exactly what I needed. I don't feel like I am out of the storm yet. Still have hurts to heal and things to work out in my heart. Also hopefully alot more years to come that will bring other storms, but I do know that Jesus is my security through it and He has kept me safe so far.
 As I write I would like to be honest. Today is a good day which is great becasue lately there has not been many of those. Yes life has been okay and all is going well, I am still able to love and care for my family. I like my jobs I have. But I am talking about my heart.  I think we often mask our feelings with each other in fear that people will think less of us or honestly gossip about us.  I just have some heart things to work through. Hopefully we will be able to journey together being open and honest, no judgements just love and support.