It is like being on the motorbike the other night. I was afraid!! It was my first time on a path. I liked driving on the side road that was smooth. I could manage that, but as we drove on this path the rocks became bigger and it was harder to drive. I felt like I didn't have the control I needed. I couldn't go my nice safe speed or I would fall. At one point I wanted to give up. I stopped ( and of course stalled the bike). I told Paul I didn't like this and wanted to go home. He encouraged me that the bike was made for this. It would go find on the rocks as long as I kept my speed up. To just move with the bike and keep going. He promised he was right there and I would be okay.If I did fall he would be there to help me up and keep going. He knew what he was talking about. So I tried again. One reason because I knew this meant so much to him. He had rebuilt this bike just for me. He knew once I overcame my fear I would love it. Also, not far up was a beautiful lake with our path down the middle that Cory had found a few nights before. He reminded me we were over halfway through. So I did. I was scared but the ride back was easier as I got used to the bike and the speed. I also knew Paul was right there.I know that Paul and I will have many bike rides together. I imagine I will fall ( hopefully not break anything major!). I know we will also find smooth paths that I will love and see scenery and nature that will be beautiful.
As I was speeding along ( praying I wouldn't fall) I thought this was much like life, even the christian life. At first the idea of being a christian is great, that peace you get, the high of realizing you are not
alone and feeling the Holy Spirit fill you is awesome.Of feeling made new. Of being loved. You think " I can do this." This is going to be awesome. Then life hits. the road gets rocky. It can get down right scary. You are holding on for dear life, but sometimes you just want to say I can't hold on anymore. The fear is so overwhelming, whether it is your own world you are worried for or a loved ones. We always have a choice. To stop and give up. To say I am done. I can't do this. Or we can keep going, driving ahead, praying and reaching out to God for strength and help.
Because you see Jesus is there beside you.He is saying " I planned this life for you. It is okay. There is beauty just up around the corner. I'm here if you do fall, to help you back up. Let's keep going together." If we quit our walk with God then we will miss out on the beauty He has planned for us.
And know that as I walk this christian walk, I will continue to have rocky roads. Yes some days are great. I see answered prayers, I see the beauty of nature that only my God could have created. I am so thankful for all that has been provided for us. For a great job with beautiful women who care for our community, for my awesome partner in life. I could go on and on.( the posts you see on facebook:)
Then there are times of sadness, of heartache where the road just seems to be getting too rocky. ( the ones we often don''t talk about)Today is one of those days. So...back to the song. I want to be able to sing it out. To say that I am not longer a slave to fear, but honestly I am afraid. My heart is hurting and so want God to just come in and make things all better. I have to just keep praying, believing God is bigger than any of my fears. He can handle my loved one. ( I just know my loved one is stubborn!!)
So I will think and listen to the words of the song:
You unravel me, with a melody
You surround me with a song
Of deliverance, from my enemies
Till all my fears are gone
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God
From my Mother's womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name
I’ve been born again, into your family
Your blood flows through my veins
I am surrounded by the arms of the Father
I am surrounded by songs of deliverance
We've been liberated from our bondage
We're the sons and the daughters
Let us our sing our freedom
You split the sea, so I could walk right through it
All my fears were drowned in perfect love
You rescued me, so I could stand and sing
I am child of God
https://youtu.be/f8TkUMJtK5khttps://youtu.be/f8TkUMJtK5k
God knows my heart. He knows my concerns for my loved one. He made them too and I believe has chosen them. That is why there is such a fight for their heart. I will keep praying, knowing that God loves the one I love even more than me. i will try to let God's love drown out this awful fear. I will keep going!
Praying that whatever people are going through today, that you know that you have a God who loves you, that He is there through the rocky roads and the smooth ones. We need to remember that we will have sun shiny days in among the rocky darker days, but even more importantly an eternity in heaven with our God.
( Glad I didn't give up the other night.I would have missed this.Beautiful!)
