I just listened to the new song by Chris Tomlin called Sovereign. I had seen it during the last week posted on Facebook but never took the time to listen. What a great song. Spoke really to my heart.
As many know, this past week was a whirlwind of emotions starting with last Monday with our son Cory having cat scans, mri's and biopsy. No one knew what was wrong but the C word hung in the air. Something was in his sinuses and going up into his head. Of course I prayed and prayed. Wanting to believe that God could fix anything but also knowing that bad things happen to good families. ( I consider our family good) I woke up in the night Wednesday with the words of Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus going through my head. We had just sung it on Sunday. Little did I know I would have to lean and trust so much that next week! I remember going right back to sleep. I woke up to the same words. I also woke up to my boy saying his eyesight was worse. We called drs who sent us to emerg. I was losing it. I knew I needed to trust, but this was my boy! I have never felt so helpless and scared. I knew God was in control but I still felt sick as a parent not knowing what the day held for my boy and what would he have to endure in the weeks ahead. I wanted to totally trust, but honestly was overwhelmed with many emotions at the same time.
Cory had still went to school as we thought we had to wait until Friday to hear from Sick Kids in Toronto. Without him at home I was free to cry. Probably not a good thing. Thankfully Paul was still home. We headed to Belleville to get Cory and get to emerg. As I was walking out of the school I heard " All is well." A saying I often use but definitely would not have used myself that morning. I thought in my head really!! I heard it again. I knew I had to get in the van ( which Cory was already in) and pull myself together and not let him see my fear. I just had to say okay. All is going to be well. Not 2 minutes later my phone rang and it was the Dr. saying the biopsy was back and it was not cancer!!! Thankfully just a bad fungus infection.Tto make the story short, he still had to have surgery ( 7 hours long) that was scary, but he made it through and really All is well!!! No complications. We have come home to 2 job interviews that are still going to happen for Cory which I thought would probably have been lost given we were away.
The Song Sovereign really spoke to my heart at this moment. I realize some may say it was the great drs. that fixed my son. Yes, they were great and we are so grateful. But I also heard the same drs. say it was amazing how everything came together. the tests, the surgery all within a week. I believe my God opened the right doors and just the right time and used just the right drs. He was sovereign in my greatest joy, sovereign in my deepest cry ( lots of those last week!) with me in the dark and with me at the dawn. Cory had reminded me earlier in the week when we didn't know the outcome was the worst thing that could happen was in he would go to heaven which wasn't so bad. Good thought but as a mom hard to hear. Thankfully we have him for hopefully a long time to come.
So thankful for everyone who prayed for us. Really shows us how great the family of God is no matter what denomination or how far apart in miles we may be.
Blessings,
Jen Loner
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